Well, let me start off by saying that Zoey is an amazing little girl! She is so smart, musically talented, beautiful, FUNNY, HUNGRY and just plain adorable. But she's also STRONG WILLED, HARD HEADED and ATTACHED TO ME! These are in all caps because it's driving me crazy! She still cries EVERY time I walk out the door and even when I take a shower!!! If she can't be in the room I'm in, we have a SCREAMING, balling fit and don't stop until I pick her up! I just took a 15 min shower just to be away for a little while and she stood at the door SCREAMING and kicking and hitting the door yelling, "MAMA!!"
I understand it's just been 5 wks since we've been home, but my goodness. It just seems like she was never told NO and that someone took her everywhere they went and held her at that!! It's REALLY hard on this momma!
I am having physical effects as well. I am having a sharp pain in my neck that prohibits me from turning to the left. AND my lower back is killing me! I know everyone has things they are thinking in their minds right now, and believe me, I have thought of EVERYTHING!! I know this is her way of bonding. I know she's older. I know there could be underlying reasons. I know it's just been a month and a half since we've held her for the first time and it's still new to her. I KNOW we wanted her!! I know I need to be patient. I know this too shall pass. And I KNOW alot of other things. But when you are in the moment. When you can't even go to the bathroom by yourself, it's aggravating. I'm not going to "give in" and let her go with me all the place bc there is NO NEED in it! She doens't have to be in the bathroom when I'm taking shower. I can't watch her!! (and when I'm showering, someone else is watching her!) It's a bathroom...it has things that she doesn't need to be messing with! I don't mind whining either...but SCREAMING and kicking and all that jazz is crazy! And this happens at night too! There is NOTHING I can do, except sit in there with her for a LONG time til she finally falls asleep and hold her, to make her stop! Anthony has had to be dealing with her at night bc she doesn't do him like she does me!
Anyway! Had to vent! I love her. She's amazing and I know it will pass but for right now...it's driving me crazy!!! She's doing so good in most of the other aspects but this! I HATE screaming and moaning and that's about all she does! Yes, I know God has a sense of humor!!! But...when it passes, I will post about the quiet and smile on my face! But until then, pray for her to stop this. It upsets me bc I don't know why she's doing it!!! I love her and want her to know that she's safe and okay here!!! I guess patience..but as you know..that's something I just don't have! Adopting an older child is pretty hard!!! Atleast to me it is. Just pray for us!!!
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